man your battlestations, we'll have you dead pretty soon now.

coheed and cambria have surpassed every previous level ive held them at. Theyre absolutely incredible.

I find that the more bored that I am, the more time I spend on the computer which in turn leads to me discovering more things to do online and more things that i would like to buy. and leaving my wallet by the computer is a bad idea. i find lots of inexpensive things that i want, and i buy them but that adds up. and i need to stop.

well this semester is coming to a close this weekend, ive decided to write a few things to sum it up. i spent most of it being bored. i dont like going out all that much but i should have done it more. my main motivation for not going out is the long drive and no gas money. i have no money and i should have worked over the break. i dont want to spend another break at home. i get slightly more enjoyment out of giving a gift than getting one oddly. the anticipation is greater for someone to open something i got them then it is for me to open one someone got me. i got nothing accomplished. i took maybe, MAYBE 3 showers a week on average. i slept way too much. i didnt get anything that i had wanted accomplished. not doing my laundry and not having to clean or worry about food is incredible. i have 5 friends, the rest are filler. i want to work in a city and i cant wait to have my own place. im kinda done with going to school already. new years eve parties are always the best ones. i need to stop going on the computer so much.

bright and early for school tomorrow.

for christ's sake, take care of yourself.

im having a love affair with owen, or just mike kinsella in general. top 5 bands of all time (in no order):

1. The Get up Kids
2. Brand New
   
3. Bright Eyes
4. Mike Kinsella
   
5. The Early November

There could be more, Taking Back Sunday could be on that, but since john left i couldnt include it.

Ive been looking for Firefox extensions like crazy. Ive gotten back into Dominion and I remember why I used to like it so much. I want a game where the only thing i do is make political, economic, and social decisions over a territory and I can see how the place prospers and advances. Theres no game that incorporates that level of politics that I want. I want something where decisions I make and how I rule affects the game play and production. I havent found that yet.

Im pumped for school but Im really dreading packing. Thats like the worst part of everything, the packing and unpacking. God thinking about it is making me sick. I had an idea for a cool movie scene today in the car. Beautiful day by U2 came on the radio today when I was on my way back from the doctor's office this morning. It goes like this.. a car is driving over a double decker bridge, and the car is on the lower level, and the camera is facing out of the passenger's side window and you can see what the passenger would see. All the while, this song is playing over the background. The camera moves out of the window and starts zooming out of the back of the car and you can see the car start to make weird moves and start to spin out and crash into the cars in front of it. the camera then zooms in back through the back of the window and everything is in slow motion and you can see the car spinning and moving really fast and the driver getting thrown around and the airbag deploying and his head slamming it, and dust going everywhere and it speeds up and the car collapses in on itself and two more hit it in the back and the camera zooms out. and throughout the whole scene when the accident is happening it cuts to scenes from the drivers head of him laying in bed at night with his wife next to him and hes so sad. and the scenes come faster and faster and they begin to be somewhat animated where he gets out of bed and its not smooth animation and he gets out of bed slowly and goes to the bathroom and takes out a gun and shoots him self in the head and at the exact second of the gunshot sound it cuts back to the car crash and you see blood splatter on the windsheild.

I cant wait for the OC and the Office tonite. get pumped.

it all boils down to one beautiful phrase: if you love something give it away.

I had this thing called a Business Externship yesterday at vanguard (thevanguardgroup.com). Its like 20 minutes away from me, 30 with traffic. It was basically just a super-tour of the whole place. They told us what they do there, we broke up into smaller groups, and then me and this other guy got a feel for the entire IT department there. I loved it, but I feel like it wasnt so much the "Vanguard" that i was in love with, it was the IT. We saw this guy, Andrew, and he talked to us about software and webpage development and I was just in way over my head. This guy's got like 3 years on me, but probably 5 - 10 in knowledge. He was incredible. Then we talked to a few other people, met like 70 from her office, ate with some more at lunch. The young guys there are all cool (well computer-cool) and I would probably have fun there. But its way too much like Office Space. I remember talking to this one guy at lunch, he was funny, but he looked EXACTLY like Michael Bolton from that movie and he was just talking about going to the bar after work to these Indian guys and one Asian. Jesus.

The place was nice, but I can see why they have the reputation for "not extravagant." Thats not to say they're cheap, they are so cost focused on getting the cost down for the customer that they see potential money made from customers as better than splurging for a nice conference table. I mean, a conference table that all the CEO's sit at. This is a trilian dollar company. Come on.

I think it confirmed in my head that I dont want a strictly IT job, and at the same time, I dont want a strictly business job. I wouldnt be able to be good at either one. I really do need something that splits them a little bit. Also, I want to work in new york. It pains me to say it, but I couldnt do the suburban thing for the rest of my life. Especially not after I graduate. I guess Im even looking for something there over this summer. I think it would be fun and an awesome experience. I know my brother was talking about it a while ago, but he never had the proper motivation.

3 maybe 4 more semesters at Lehigh pending a few things, I go back on saturday and I really cant wait. Its time now to buckle down and get my grades as high as I possibly can because after this semester is the GPA that I report on all of my resumes and applications for employment post college. Ive convinced myself that it needs to happen so hopefully it wont be too bad. Im taking the most credits ive ever taken this semester at a nice round 20. I dont know what to expect. But I just miss everyone from school, so this saturday is much anticipated.

no one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter, sometimes its the most comfortable place.

I was watching Carl, my hamster, today for the first time in a while and i just noticed that hes really makes his own little house in the cage that he lives in. He has a corner that he scopes out as soon as i put new bedding down for him and clean up his cage. he uses the bathroom corner for obvious reasons, but also, whenever I put him back in his cage after I play with him outside of it he always hops into the bathroom corner to wash himself off. he surprisingly uses the "bathroom" hes created to not only deficate and urinate, but also wash himself. its amazing.

i saw the movie Hostel today and i would give it 3.5 stars out of 5. it was really good, the gore scenes were definitely gross and i would be screaming for death if ever put in that position, but i felt as if there was a little too much "Eurotrip" in the begginning. Unnecessary nudity only detracted from the movie. It wasnt needed to get the point across. I felt he should have tried harder to make the movie darker and should not have added "van wilder goes to slovakia" in the first half of the movie. just get the point across that these guys are after european girls, you dont need all of that. also, cut the stupid jokes, it was so akward some of them. i would have focused more on how disturbing the city was and how gross the people that lived there were. I wouldnt have had Russia's Hot XXX Teens stripping in front of the camera. It made me not like the movie.

Spoiler: Its saving grace was the scene where he ran over that one brunette, and then AGAIN which had the audience clapping. That was sweet. And even better was the kids scene and the finale where he kills the doctor in the most horrific and brutal way I could think of in a bathroom. I loved that. Thats the stuff that wins you Oscars.

Tomorrow I have this externship, or one day walk about at Vanguard. Im real nervous, but not so much about the day there and whats going to happen as I am that I'll be underdressed for the occassion. I wish my suit was done for tomorrow. I have to wear this stupid non matching jacket. At least everything else is nice. I also dont want it to be awkward. Ugh.

Wishing myself luck...

i've got a girl in my bed who's more sure of what she says than what she hears.

I saw the funniest rap music video by two guys from SNL the other day. Check it out:

Lazy Sundays

New years was ok, I really want to do it in New York city next year. I think that would be awesome. I went up to madisons for a couple days afterwords too. Theres always going to be that degree of awkwardness but it wasnt that bad this time.

I cant put my finger on it but theres something about seeing your old friends after you havent seen them for awhile. They're kind of like your room at home. Everything is just where you left it, nothing's really changed, it's all gotten a little older, all your memories come back to you the instant you put it in your hands. Some stuff's even been thrown out.

I figure everyone's got two choices to make, either do something you want to do, or do something someone else wants you to do. Ive always admired the people who do the things that they want to do. The ones that arent bothered by other people's emotions or feelings or how their decisions might affect other people. I don't care how you slice it, you can get over anything. Its that decisiveness that i envy. If somethings not the way you want it, if you want out, they leave.

I know this sounds weird. If we could pick our lives from an infinite list of options I'd make mine the lead singer and songwriter of an acoustic traveling country folk band from the late 1970's. I'd have short hair and a beard and I'd retire in my early 30's. I wouldnt live to see 50 because i wouldnt want to. Its funny how it not only wont turn out that way, but probably the exact opposite.

The only thing stopping me really from living a little life making nothing somewhere is the boredom coming from whatever it is I'd be doing for a living. Its too bad theres no professional sightseer. Theres something strangley appealing about waking up whenever I want to, walking all day just to look at things, and sleeping whenever I want to.

What do some people do with their days? There has to be more to life than brief social interactions, working to accomplish small goals for a larger orgranization, making and spending money, keeping up with your neighbors. I want to know what the girl in the expensive clothes is thinking when she's walking alone down the street. I want to know what the guy sitting alone at the cafe is thinking. It can't just be about significant people in their life. Everyone always says someone or something is all they think about and to an extent thats true, but everyone thinks about other things that interest them when they're alone even if its just for a second, when they're watching tv and not paying attention. Why werent you paying attention, thats what i want to know. I want to write down everything I think about when Im not paying attention.

"if blame, as they say, is for god and little kids
then you're deserving of praise or a slap on the wrist
cause you can't help but blame yourself
for your long face."
- Mike Kinsella