Suspect Fled the Scene

Its 8:30 AM on a wednesday and over the past 5 hours two extremely strange things have happened t0 me (well the first one is extremely strange, the second one is just strange). In my room I have a hamster and a beta fish. The hamster lives in a 2.5' long by 1' high by 1' deep habitrail set with a crawl tube extension leading to a small petting station with a removable roof. The petting station is about a foot off the top of the habitrail and the habitrail is about a foot off the top of the dresser it sits on which is about 3 and a half feet off the ground. On the other side of the room, on the floor because i havent cleared any space on any tables yet, lies a beta fish in probably a 3 - 4 liter (i use liters because its filled with bottled water and theyre half a liter each) glass vase. It sits about 2 feet off the side of my bed, and about a foot in front of my nightstand and a modular hatch wire cube storage shelving unit.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that its a reasonable distance away. So last night my roommate was messing around with the hamster like he usually does and forgot to put the top roof of the petting station back on. Hes always said theres no way for the hamster to get out even if the roof's off because the jump is too far to make. I can't wait to yell to him his innacuracy after i get home from work.

So at 3:30 this morning I wake up hearing a very strange noise coming from the side of my bed. It took me about 5 - 6 seconds for what I was seeing to register in my head at the time and still I think I was dreaming the whole thing. I woke up to a huge fish, one too big for the bowl, flapping around frantically in the fish bowl.

A few more seconds later, I realized that it wasnt a huge fish but Carl my hamster. He was jumping up and down in a feverish convulsive attempt to save his own life. I'll tell ya, you think youve seen fear before, it was nothing like the look in that little hamsters eyes. Anyway, I think a funded reasearch team would have a hard time figuring out how he got in there. I swear to god, I cant think of any possible way he did that. The only thing that comes to mind is he must have (which goes against every previous thought Ive had about his jumping ability) jumped down from the petting station to the top of the cage. At this point he probably was very wary about walking around the roof because theres not much walking space. After scouting it out, he probably jumped down to the top of the dresser. Here is where I cant understand what happened. I guess, GUESS, he must have found some route to crawling down the dresser. He probably just fell off the top of the thing and landed on the ground. If he did, I dont see him living through that. But regardless, he had to have found a way down. So once on the ground I'm assuming he was walking around, exploring it for a bit until he came to the modular wire storage shelf i have, which would be VERY easy for him to climb. So i guess he climbed that and from some evidence of the bamboo stalk in the fishbowl, he was nibbling the leaves of the bamboo, which is about a few inches away from the edge of the shelf, and then he must have slipped and fallen into the bowl.

And then thats where I wake up. I'll tell ya, he settled a lot of doubts about the abilities of hamsters to get to very strange places. What was interesting to note about the whole thing is that at around 6 PM earlier that day I knocked the fish bowl over and spilled about a 3 inches of water out of it. I never replaced the water but had i done that theres not way his little head would have been able to reach the surface for air. I would have one dead hamster, god bless his soul, and one roommate who would get the shit kicked out of him.

But anyway, that was my morning. Oh, and the second weird thing, well its not as weird as it is lucky and awesome, but I went up to a food vending machine here at work and tried to get some candy out of it because I hadnt eaten anything and I just pressed the number of what i wanted (i never put any money in) and it kept making the noise like it was trying to pull in a dollar bill. after a few attempts of the machine to take in a dollar I hit coin return and out popped 4 quarters. So i took them and I think i might have a new method of getting free toll money. I hope it works from here on out till I leave at the end of the summer.

I wish stuff like this happened every day.

that was a pretty impressive mantra

thats what mike flores said to me after a stunning attempt at survival during a grueling game 2 of 3 match during round 2 of a magic the gathering mercadian block constructed tournament in plymouth meeting pa. mike flores at the time was a top ranked magic player. sometimes when i think about those times when i played the game i just get a strange feeling. its almost like i wish i could go back. sometimes when im walking through the hallway here at work i can still smell the convention center and the signature cologne of the other guys there... i get that nervous feeling everytime it crosses my path, like im about to start a new tournament. i can still remember that feeling of checking the postings to see who im playing, that nervousness of awaiting to see if my opponent was coming, who he was, what he looked like, and praying so hard that he didnt show up and i could get a free win. just thinking about it now i get a whole slew of memories, like my friend jon stewart bailing early to play some side tournaments, i forget their name, god thats gonna bother me,.. its like 8 people sitting around and picking cards from a pack to make a deck to play with. itll come to me. i remember opening the packs to see what rares i got, what deck i was gonna make. to be there again, i consider that the prime of my life.

i was maybe 14 years old and thats the prime of my life. i cant think of a time when i was happier. maybe i wasnt happy then, but for some reason i feel like i was when i think about it. maybe it was hanging out with my dad, anj and john, and sometimes stew. maybe it was the cards, god i miss magic, i miss looking at the cards, that feeling i get when im looking through them, those old magic cards. i guess ill never have that again.

money is conduit for happyness.

for some reason that always sticks with me. my friend says it, not in those words exactly, but i didnt come up with it. hes exactly right, money is just a way to make people happy. you use it on things that make you happy. i dont know why but i took that to heart. ill never forget it either. maybe ill try to pass it off as my own.

ive realized that i really have no asperations to do anything anymore. i love and have fallen into such a routine of getting up, showering, going to work, going to the gym at lunch, going back to work, and then leaving at 4:30. I love it. i love sitting at my desk in my cube working silently with my headphones on, listening to NPR and doing my work by myself. i hate talking to people, i just want to do my own thing. thats why i dont think i could ever work in an office for very long. i want to work at home, or start up my own business. i guess i inhereted my dislike for other people from my dad. he hates people.

i need to get back to work.

un-unemployed

I finally got a job. Midway through the easiest and best interview of my life I was offered a job this summer for SAP in newtown. I started May 23rd and I've been there for like 2 weeks. I guess its just a typical internship, not much to do, but when i do have something its just busy work or data entry. i feel bad that i dont do anything but if they dont have anything for me then theres nothing really i can do.

im really not looking forward to mowing the lawn tonite. god thats gonna suck. so is sitting thru an 8 hour day on like 4 hours of couch sleep. i should write a longer post about work later today, i need to tell anj to see if he remembers the nervous magic tournament cologne smell before the prerelease starts. ill tell him later.

Cleaning my Keyboard: A Photo Journey

There comes a time in every computer-superuser's life when he just gets so overly frustrated and disgusted by the mess that exists underneath his keys. All of those black hairs and crumbs from god knows what sitting under there every time i press a key. all that filth. it made me sick sometimes. i just wanted that feeling of unclogging a drain, or cleaning an artery, or picking your nose. so, lo and behold, here is my photo adventure:

I started out taking each key off. My computer has a cool onscreen keyboard that has the exact same layout as the piece of shit i use so it made putting it back together a lot easier. Here are some shots of taking the keys off. You can see here how dirty and disgusting it was.


After a little preliminary cleaning i got it to look like this:


I used a variety of techniques. Cotton balls and Q-tips covered with proactiv revitalizing toner worked the best. Also, baby wipes to get some of the bulk was good too. It was a disgusting project, filled with hair, dust, crumbs and an assortment of crusty and crunchy oddities stuck somehow to the bottom of the keypad. Heres a few final shots of the thing:


Final thoughts: It definitely was not worth it. Most of my keys have small chips and are bent in weird spots from where the screwdriver pryed them off. Also, the spacebar, arrow keys and backspace keys dont work nearly as good as they used to for some reason. I used to be able to hold the backspace key down and have it delete text pretty quickly, now it does it so slow that its more efficient to press the key a hundred times. same thing goes for the arrow keys and page scrolling. The spacebar however doesnt work every time i press it. its like loose in certain areas and doesnt work unless i sorta hit it harder then usual. overall it was a big waste of time, but at least its clean.

Rich chocalaty ovaltine please

It's week 4 into my summer job search. I still have no job offer but a few promising leads. JPMorgan Chase called me today and set up a phone interview for next tuesday. I still have yet to hear the final decision for Ernst & Young and IBM and I have an on-campus interview for Accenture next wednesday. Theres still no guarantee ill be working though which is very unsettling.

Even though I dont have a job yet there are a few things Ive gained throughout this whole process:

1. A new suit and new work clothes that I can wear to formal and business functions
2. A working knowledge of the interview process
1. I can walk into an interview without being nervous
2. I can answer any behavioral question you could come up with on the spot, within seconds, and better than 90% of anyone else
3. An all expenses paid trip to New York City at the Hilton Times Square
4. 5 free expensive meals at very nice restuarants
5. A full arsenal of BS questions to ask people in my line of work
1. I can keep a nonsense conversation going for upwards of 15 minutes
6. Poor grades in Math 231 - Probability and Statistics, so bad that I need to drop the class
7. No time to study and slipping grades in my 5 other classes
8. A constant feeling of nervousness about getting a job this summer
9. A constant feeling of low self worth and a hurt ego after each and every rejection letter, phone call, or email
10. A newfound discovery and hatred of people who hide behind the company they work for as a means of inflating their superiority of everyone they encounter

Other than that its been ok these past couple weeks but Ive been constantly on the edge of my seat waiting to hear back from companies, waiting to go interviews with people, having to force conversation and interest with companies, researching the companies and jobs im interviewing for and everything related to that. Its been an incredibly stressful couple of weeks and if i dont get a job I will end myself.

Spring break has been nice, I visited Quinn last night. Here's Bucknell in a nutshell: A B+ university placed retardedly in the middle of rural western Pennsylvania. Theres nothing withing an 80 mile vicinity worth going to except the mighty Susquehana to drown yourself or a fraternity party on "Frat Row" to get nuts at. Everything from the dorms to the frats to the library to the gym to the academic buildings is red brick and seemingly designed by the same architect. The types of students Bucknell houses are those kids in high school that got decent grades, didnt really do much activity-wise, didnt get into their top choice, and dont care that theyre at a college sitting in the middle of a 60 million acre farm field. Everyone there seems extremely friendly and easy to talk to, and theres no prevalent type of person. They're very normal. Lehigh isnt like that at all with the cookie-cutter retards that study there. Their classes seem unnecessarily difficult, their class buildings arent anything to write home about, but their quad seems like it must light up with activity during the warmer months. overall I would say its a great place to go to school at. I had a great time kev.

I'll be at madison's for the next couple of days loving the wireless internet access all over their house. the house with floors that always get my socks damp for some reason, with no rooms to really hang out in, with nothing to do except watch tv or go online, and with more screaming and unnecessary bickering than you thought possible. I love it though.

Im going back home for my moms birthday at the end of the week. Hopefully Ill finish my homework. I still need to get a birthday present for her and I have no idea what to get. Im really not looking forward to getting back into hunting for a job at all and Im dreading school even more. This whole thing is like pledging with no clear sight at the end of the road and more making an ass out of myself and less self esteem.

Hopefully my next post here will be about a job offer.

I'm gonna take some time, sift through this conflicted mind, figure out why I can't sleep

I saw Mike Kinsella and I can Make a Mess with Ace Enders saturday. It was the best show of my life. I remember getting to Hoboken, eating at Maxwell's right before the show there and seeing Kinsella and Ace eating together with the rest of Ace's band. The whole show was so intimate. We were right up front, no one was jumping, or moving, or pushing, they were just all in to seeing kinsella and ace. i bought owen's first two cd's before the show and mike signed them for me. god i was so nervous.

he looked nervous and lost too. He's just a normal guy, intimidated to play at a show still, lost without his friends there, looking for something to do and someone to talk to. He got up there and played an incredible set. i took a bunch of pictures and a few videos. i just remember seeing him up there, closing his eyes, and not looking at anyone. just playing to these kids that love him like he would by himself in his living room or at his moms. hes married. i wish his wife came.

i saw him after the show sending a message on his phone, probably to his wife and he was pacing around, lost almost. I got a picture with him and anj and madison. He asked if we were all brothers, me, andrew and andrew's friend adrian. I guess we could have passed for it. but i said no, just me and andrew are. he said oh, cool, cut from the same tree. adrian took the picture of us.


I shook his hand, he said to get in closer and put his arm around andrew to move him in. I dont know, theres just a certain feeling i'll get listening to his songs. Theyre innocent, and technical, and things are just done right. Hes a musical genius. i think of my childhood listening to some of his older songs, spending time with my brother and my cousins at my grandparents house. it makes me want to pack my things and drive around the country and just make a new life for myself.

not many people get the opportunity to ever see their role model, their idol or that person thats a huge inspiration in their life. that person that they want to be. I got to see mine do what he does best, i met him, i got his autograph, talked to him, shook his hand, and got a picture with him. 2 minutes out of his life and he never could know what it means to me. the feeling i get listening to his songs. i saw a group of guys next to me watching him play. this one guy had awe in his eyes. like we were both watching a god. i dont know, i remember seeing his face. i cant believe mike kinsella came out here, i didnt know if id ever get to see him play.

i can make a mess played afterwards. it was different. ace enders knows how to put on a show. when he plays with the early november its not that personal because so many people are trying to see him. i was right next to the guy and he looked at me and everyone there. it was just very personal and i loved that. i got a picture of the band, i really regret not asking ace to get a picture with him after the show. i dont know if i'll ever get that chance again.


Thats bill, ace, and jeff. I think this was their first tour as I Can Make a Mess. jeff really isnt that good, but hes decent stage presence. the drummer chris is excellent and sings awesome but hes not attractive and kind of a big guy.

i miss being there, and i got the biggest slice of pizza ive ever eaten before for only $2. well actually it came out to $10 because anj and madison wanted slices and anj needed an orange crush and i wanted a strawberry one and andrew doesnt pay for things anymore even though he got a lot of money back from his fraternity.

that was one of the best nights of my life. ill never forget some of the things mike kinsella said to me, or during the show.

"so maybe my mom's right, our good deeds won't save us. just true faith in jesus."

man your battlestations, we'll have you dead pretty soon now.

coheed and cambria have surpassed every previous level ive held them at. Theyre absolutely incredible.

I find that the more bored that I am, the more time I spend on the computer which in turn leads to me discovering more things to do online and more things that i would like to buy. and leaving my wallet by the computer is a bad idea. i find lots of inexpensive things that i want, and i buy them but that adds up. and i need to stop.

well this semester is coming to a close this weekend, ive decided to write a few things to sum it up. i spent most of it being bored. i dont like going out all that much but i should have done it more. my main motivation for not going out is the long drive and no gas money. i have no money and i should have worked over the break. i dont want to spend another break at home. i get slightly more enjoyment out of giving a gift than getting one oddly. the anticipation is greater for someone to open something i got them then it is for me to open one someone got me. i got nothing accomplished. i took maybe, MAYBE 3 showers a week on average. i slept way too much. i didnt get anything that i had wanted accomplished. not doing my laundry and not having to clean or worry about food is incredible. i have 5 friends, the rest are filler. i want to work in a city and i cant wait to have my own place. im kinda done with going to school already. new years eve parties are always the best ones. i need to stop going on the computer so much.

bright and early for school tomorrow.